So you wanna live on a Caribbean island?

Well, I hope you don’t have a penchant for efficiency. And please make sure to pack a whole lotta patience, too, before you get on the plane for paradise.

Here is just a little sample of what I mean…

You wake up in the morning, drink your glass of 100% cranberry juice (because you’re trying to avoid kidney infection #5) and make your errand list. Because after five days of sloth-like living, damn it you are going to be productive today!

Then you head out, full of positive energy at the prospect of crossing things off your list. One. Two. Three.

You finish a few tasks and then walk into the government office. You know, the one where you have to go to buy your annual car tags. Except this year the license plates are getting replaced and you have to get those, too. And so does every other single car owner on the island, because they are all waiting in line ahead of you.

So much more useful than new tags for my jeep.

So much more useful than new tags for my jeep.

And it’s not even a normal line, but one that includes chairs (because the wait is so damn long, older folks simply cannot stand that long). And people sitting on all the chairs. And then people standing in line behind the chairs. And people standing in line behind those people standing in line behind the chairs.

And you stay there, shellshocked (because you know your “to do” list just got torpedoed), for about fifteen minutes…during which time you see zero evidence of any actual line movement. Not a single person leaves the cashier window. At all.

And you realize that you are not going to be one of the lucky ones who gets renewed car tags/plates today, because you just don’t have the energy or patience to wait for two or three hours for the line to clear. So you walk back outside and wander into the surf shop next door where you buy a new rash guard instead. And you forget about your “to do” list altogether.

Forget efficiency, baby…you live on a Caribbean island.

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